One of the interesting things about being a “public” Pagan clergy-person is the way different patterns and threads of connection appear in various conversations, classes, and events I’m part of. These patterns sometimes give me a little insight into where we, collectively, are at a given moment. These insights are not universal – maybe they don’t apply to you – but they’re prevalent enough that it’s worth talking about them.
Right now, we’re exhausted.
Right now, we’re feeling disconnected.
Right now, we’re having problems finding energy to do things we normally enjoy.
And I hear you. I do. I get it. Believe me, I get it. I’m struggling too.
Here’s the thing, though. Spiritual practice is easy and enjoyable when life is following normal patterns, but it’s absolutely vital when life is difficult or spiraling out of control. That five or ten minutes of regular or daily spiritual practice may be the only thing that’s consistent in your life. And we need consistency. Humans do well with pattern and repetition. Even those of us who are neurodiverse have patterns we follow, they just don’t look like neurotypical patterns. This need for the familiar arc of action, word, movement, and sound is why we loved Mr. Rogers as children.
Your daily practice offers all of this. It also reminds of you who are and that you are connected to something larger than any presidency, than any time of struggle. Your practice reminds you that who you are is not the same thing as the mundane tasks you perform in order to survive. It reminds you that you hold a powerful place in this cosmos, that you are a co-creator of reality, and that those little ripples of creation and connection matter.
Your practice recenters you when the world tries to knock you off your balance. And here in the United States, the cultural disaster is definitely hard to balance.
One of the less common magical forms I practice is a style of revival oracular ritual known as seidr (also spelled seiðr or seidhr). This ritual form is a reconstruction of a pre-Christian Norse divination ritual where a seer goes into a trance and channels answers and information from the ancestors, land spirits, deities, and more. I have practiced seidr since 2016 and lead a team of practitioners in the mid-Atlantic.
I do not remember many things from when I sit in the seer’s chair. The trance I use is a strongly altered brain state – the vision of spirit tracks oddly in a brain of flesh. My memories are indistinct and many experiences vanish entirely. But there is one memory that stays with me, and I suspect this moment in time (and its needs) may be why it’s lingered for so long.
Go with me there now.
…
I sat where I always do, the thready mists of Helheim swirling before me. The crowd of ancestors had gathered again, an indistinct circle of hundreds around me. More an impression of a gathering of people than anything solid. My heart hammered in my chest and I could feel the faint twitches of my face, the odd things my physical body does in this kind of trance. It made me grateful for the veil covering me. Seers are strange enough without obvious muscle spasms.
A living voice spoke. “Seeress, my spiritual practice is faltering. Can any of my ancestors tell me how to connect again?”
I gazed at the gathered dead. There was a sense of movement, people shuffling out of the way, off to my right. An ancestor stepped forward, shifting in that moment from the outline and impression of a person to entirely real. He was my height, robed in the simple black of an orthodox priest. He had wide shoulders and a broad, friendly face. His dark hair was slightly curly.
“Do the rituals,” he said. “Go through the motions.”
Some of the dead speak and I relay the messages. Some of the dead are strong and take the shortcut. I see what they see. Their voices speak from my lips.
This priest was strong. My vision swam and I saw before me his worshipers gathered. His/my broad-fingered hands held a round, crusty loaf of bread and all eyes were upon it. Words spilled from my lips.
“You break the bread. And in the breaking of it, you find the connection. The forms themselves contain the spirit. You will not always want to. Go through the forms anyway. Break the bread. Do the rituals.”
As he/I spoke, I saw him tear the bread, the brown crust revealing the lighter crumb beneath. I felt the rush of holiness in that moment, saw the hope and devotion on the faces watching in his church. I felt the wave of spirit rushing through the priest speaking with my voice, the transformation of simple action to holiness.
…
Even retelling the story now, the hairs rise on my arms.
Do the practice anyway.
Use whatever means necessary to get you there.
Right now, I am staying on top of my yoga practice by putting big stickers on my calendar for every practice completed with a promise of rewards at certain practice points. (14 more practices til a massage!)
Right now, I am staying on top of my spiritual practice by creating a new contract with a spiritual guide and showing up as per our agreement. I am not arrogant enough to piss off a dead völva – I know my fighting weight and she’s well outside my range.
Right now, I am staying on top of my regular divination practice by sharing that practice with my Patreon community.
Right now, I am showing up to rituals and events by consciously taking a role in them that cannot be easily replaced.
Do whatever it takes. Bribe yourself with chocolate. Track your practices and build in rewards. Take on roles in ceremonies. Volunteer to help at community gatherings. Figure out what levers you can use to self-manipulate and pull them.
SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF.
Right now I generally don’t want to do any of it either, especially if it involves leaving the house. It’s easier to stare into the void. But the power is in the doing. The magic and connection lives within the form as well as within you. And sometimes to prime the pump, the form is the most direct route. I show up at my altar even when I think it’s stupid, even when my depression and nihilism are telling me it doesn’t matter. I know now to simply respond “yup, it’s pointless” to those voices and then do the practice anyway. I know now to respond “yup, I’m tired and it’s a long drive and I don’t feel like it” to the thoughtforms that would isolate me in my own mental fog. And then I go to the ceremony or ritual anyway.
I have yet to regret attending a ritual, performing a spiritual practice, offering divination to my community, or connecting with my spirits. I remember who I am and what I am connected to. I find a little bit more light with which to see the way ahead. And right now? That reminder, that recentering, that little bit of light is everything.
Break the bread.
Do the ritual.
Go through the forms.
Do it anyway.
So, what are you doing to stay on top of your practice? Hit me up in the comments. You never know when your ideas are exactly what another witch needs to read.
If you enjoy my blogs, sermons, and articles, please consider supporting me through Patreon. Patreon is what enables me to invest time in writing, teaching and exploring the wide world of spirit. Through small monthly donations from supporters, I am able to make ends meet and devote time to this Work that would otherwise be spent at a mundane form of income generation. Here’s the link: https://www.patreon.com/glassewitchcottage
