Better Boundaries for Hearth and Home

The world outside our homes is chaotic right now. A raging pandemic, struggling economy, squabbling culture and high seasonal heat have come together to create a truly unpleasant summer cocktail. Although we cannot leave all our worries at the door when we return to our sanctums, there are some simple practices we can implement that reduce the amount of pandemic martini we bring inside with us.  By practicing better spiritual hygiene around our home life, we can support a healthier overall mindset, a happier family, and a more relaxing environment.  Here are a few techniques to help you leave the world outside your door firmly outside of it.

The Mindset of Homecoming

The gear shift between ‘out’ mind and ‘home’ mind can get a little sticky, especially when we are stressed. Most of us make a beeline from car to home when we arrive. One practice my partner and I have found to be effective is to institute a pause to consciously shift gears. When we arrive back at the house, we take a moment before we shut the car off to consciously set aside the stress of ‘out.’  That stress can look like many things – right now, getting groceries is almost as stressful as going to work.  Whatever activity drew you from your home, chances are good that some lingering stress accompanied you to the doorstep.

To practice the pause, try to let go of whatever stressors you can before you walk inside.  If you drove home, turn off the music or podcast you were listening to.  Take a few deep breaths and set aside the concerns and emotions you do not need to bring into your home with you.  For example, one of my regular stressors right now is seeing people not wearing masks, or wearing masks incorrectly, when I’m grocery shopping or running another necessary errand.  Although the lack of care and compassion in others is frustrating and frightening, it is also no longer new.  There’s nothing I can do to improve the behavior of these strangers by walking into the house while carrying my frustration with a bunch of covidiots. So, I take a few deep breaths and let that anger go.

Once you’ve settled and let go of some of what you were carrying, invite the mindset you wish to bring into your home.  For me, it can help to focus on the safety and comfort of my cottage and then ‘tune’ my mindset to that frequency.  My interior design aesthetic could probably be described as hygge-druidical – a focus on comfort and coziness coupled with earth tones and a leafy army of houseplants. Simply by bringing the environment of my home to mind, I can start to align with a hygge mindset as well.  (Is hygge a new term for you?  Here’s an article about the cozy magick of hygge)  Another option is to think about what you want your time at home to feel like.  Do you need relaxation?  Laughter? Comfort?  Connect to those feelings.

Once you’ve practiced the mindset shift a few times, the entire process takes only a few moments.


Really bad day?  Have you tried a large, heavy rock?

I’m serious.  One of the most useful techniques I know for returning to my Self is to sit with a large, heavy rock on my lap.  I rest my hands on the rock and allow whatever emotional baggage I’m carrying to flow into the stone.  The weight of the rock seems to help me get back into my body and realigned.  I use this technique both for settling after stress and for post-shapeshifting or heavy energy work.  My favorite kind of stone for this is a big, smooth river stone, but almost anything sizeable and in the 5 lbs range of weight should work.  If you have the privacy for it, consider placing a stone somewhere unobtrusive on your front step so you can use it when you need to. If mindset shifting doesn’t work, sit with the rock for a few minutes.

Threshold Magick 

Doors, gates, and entrances mark the boundary between two spaces.  They already have a bit of magick simply because of their nature. You can add onto this with additional objects and enchantment.

Salt: Yes, salt again.  Consider placing a small container of salt somewhere near the door.  If you have a decorative vase, cauldron, or other container, it can double as a stray energy neutralizer.  Pour some salt into it, change it out quarterly.

Stones: Most dark-colored dense stones are associated with grounding and protection.  You can use stones from your property or black tourmaline, obsidian, or hematite to support a better boundary.  Tuck small stones on top of the doorframe or down by the baseboards if you don’t have curious pets.

Sigils: Consider adding some protective sigils to the doorframe. These can be traced on in holy water or, if you don’t mind a visible sheen, in oil. Remember to reapply them quarterly.

Herbs: If you have decorative items above or around your doorway, you can tuck herbs into them to help boost the boundary.  For example, I have a resin dragon plaque hanging over my front door and I tuck mistletoe into it to help enforce the threshold.

Sacred Smoke

I keep an additional tool on hand for terrible, horrible, no-good very bad days.   The technique of smoldering dried herbs to cleanse energy is present in many cultures of the world.  I grow a few different herbs that I tie into bundles and smolder for this purpose.  However, almost anything that creates a fragrant or pungent smoke will work.  You can use stick incense just as easily as a bundle of herbs.

To clear a bad day’s lingering touch, light your herbs or incense and let the smoke start to billow.  Carefully waft the smoke over and around your head and work your way down your body.  If you are using incense, set it to burn out in a holder.  Since herb bundles are often larger and can be used repeatedly, place the bundle into a mason jar and close the lid.  The lack of oxygen will put out the bundle so it will be ready to be used next time.  I keep my bundle, jar, and lighter on a table by my front door.  That way, if I need them, they are close by and I don’t have to carry my bad day through the house in order to find them.


I hope these ideas help you better manage the spiritual hygiene of your home.  Got an idea I didn’t mention?  Hit me up in the comments.  We could all benefit from more ways to keep the outside out.





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