There’s a funny quote that circulates around the internet from time to time. It’s been attributed to lots of people, up to and including Sigmund Freud, but as far as I can tell it originated from a random person’s Twitter feed many years ago now. The quote reads:
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by [jerks].”
Like many pithy quotes, it’s reductionist and of course depression is quite real, but I think it points at something useful: sometimes the container is part of the problem.
As part of my service to the larger Pagan and progressive religious world, my afternoons are largely spent on pastoral counseling or, in Unitarian Universalist terms, “spiritual companioning” or “spiritual formation.” This means I sit with people and talk through where they’re struggling spiritually. Together, we examine the individual’s spiritual and religious history, any practices they may have, where their interests truly lie, approaches to address areas that need support, and more.
Because I spend so much time in this area of work, larger patterns appear. One of the ones I’m seeing a lot right now in my clients is a feeling of spiritual plateau, disconnection, or doldrums. People who previously encountered the mystical and transcendent regularly are struggling to do so now. People whose personal spiritual practices were nourishing and supportive are finding that they aren’t getting as much out of their practice.
Which brings me back to my opening quote. I’d say on a national level, we are definitely surrounded by jerks right now. The continuing assault of various unethical, destructive, violent, misguided policies and positions by the current administration is a lot to try to hold. As people of conscience who do our best to live our faith, it is exhausting to continue to fight back day after day after day when the hits just keep coming. And I just want to address that directly when the topic is spiritual growth and moving through and past periods of feeling stuck. The container does matter, and the national container right now is…not good. Spiritual growth is frequently easier when we’re not fighting an ongoing sociopolitical battle.
That said, our spiritual practices, at their best, are the thread we hold when we pass through times of darkness. They can be the one consistent thing in a changing sea of frightening variables. They can be the source of resolve and the inner light we carry as we respond to the world around us.
It is worth tangling with feelings of being stuck or disillusioned in order to find that thread of connection again.
Labyrinth walking is a big part of my personal spiritual practice and one of my favorite books on the subject is the Rev. Dr. Lauren Artress’s Walking a Sacred Path: Rediscovering the Labyrinth as a Spiritual Practice. One of the concepts she introduced that really blew my mind when I first read the book was the idea that religions are containers and spirituality – transcendent experiences of that which is greater than us – are the fluid meant to fill them. She posits that part of why a lot of people feel disillusioned and disconnected from their religions of origin is that rationalism became widespread in the religious world and a lot of mysticism was stripped out of religion as a result. So we end up with a beautiful container – the practices and holidays and observances of a religion – that hold nothing. We cannot drink in what is not present. The most beautiful empty chalice in the world is unhelpful when what we feel is thirst.
But it’s important to remember that religions as containers are also shaped by the spirituality they are meant to hold. Sometimes we’ve simply grown so used to a particular container that we’ve forgotten how to use it to scoop up and hold that connection again. To refill the chalice ourselves.
The flaming chalice, the symbol of the Unitarian Universalist Religion, is a powerful symbol. It was created during World War II by Hans Deutsch, who fled Austria. Deutsch chose this symbol because it was not associated with any other religion and it needed to be secret. It was designed to reference the sacred flames that burned on ancient altars in Greece and Rome. This symbol became a sign of safety for those who were helping Unitarians, Jews, and others escape Nazi persecution.
There is immense power here. The chalice holds within its shape the story of survival against terrible odds. It is a symbol of resistance. Of fighting back in secret and in grave danger against overwhelming forces in order to do what is right.
And it’s easy to forget that origin when we light the chalice every week as part of a mainstream liberal religious tradition. The words can feel rote, the symbol familiar, the chalice empty. So at times it is up to us to remember, and to reconnect with that current of tradition, connection, and resilience.
I invite you to close your eyes or bring them to a soft gaze for a moment.
Imagine that your neighbors and beloved members of your community have been disappearing, whisked off to unknown destinations.
Imagine knowing that you are next.
Imagine leaving everything you have known, traveling frightened and in secret because a tyrannical government has decided that you do not belong.
And now, in a dark night, in a place unfamiliar to you, imagine seeing the Unitarian Universalist Chalice symbol in a window.
Safety. Hands to help. People to hold you. Community. Connection.
Feel the power of that moment. The profound resonance of this symbol. The resistance is here, hiding in plain sight.
You are welcome to gently open your eyes whenever you are ready.
The container still holds connection. We are the ones who must sometimes choose to refill it.
To consciously step in to the legacy and history of our Unitarian Universalist tradition. When we kindle the chalice, the light of the flame connects to the light of the flame that guided people to safety. Week after week after week we renew our commitment to this history and way of being in the world. We are the light made manifest. We are the living chalice.
I think there can be pressure to be a hyphenated UU. A UU-Buddhist or UU-Christian or UU-Pagan. And standing before you as a UU-Heathen I’m not the greatest example of this idea, but it really is enough to be Unitarian Universalist. There is a complete faith path here that you can lean into and embody more fully.
At the end of most Unitarian Universalist services, there is a directive to live our tradition out in the world. Here, we say: “The light does not go out. It is transferred to each of us to share, and to hold, and to bring with us when next we return.”
And again, like many things that are repeated, we can forget how potent these words are. The sacred light of hope in the darkness, tolerance in the face of hatred, help where you least expect it, and the covenants to which we are committed is transferred to each of us. Living that charge, that light, that service, can include protesting, volunteering at soup kitchens, sharing information, cleaning up the environment and other external acts, but it also includes us. The service we offer to the world also includes us. Supporting and nurturing your individual spiritual practice is part of this tradition, not separate from it. Fire does not burn without fuel. If we are the living chalice, then we must feed the flame.
The word “religion” stems from the Latin root word “religio,” which has a complex etymology. In classic antiquity, the word meant conscientiousness, sense of right, moral obligation, or duty towards anything and was mostly used in secular or mundane contexts.
To be religious was to be careful to observe the obligations toward something. Religion was what you did rather than what you believed. It’s a useful distinction to remember – that all religion is supported by actions, and that the actions matter.
When we carry the spiritual flame from this place each week, we can take actions that support our connection individually. We can light a chalice at home. We can read words of inspiration from one of our many, many UU forebears. We can use that moment to remember and reconnect again with the beauty and power of this tradition.
As a non-creedal religion, our congregations are able to hold varying beliefs as long as they do not violate our covenant. It’s useful to explore what you really believe as opposed to what you think you’re supposed to believe. Using “I believe…” statements as part of an individual spiritual practice also connects us to that which is greater than us. Like remembering the origin of the chalice, remembering why we do this is a way to refill the container.
I believe that all life is sacred and connected.
I believe that all people are inherently worthy.
I believe that there is so much more to living than acquiring money or power.
I believe that the unseen world exists and can work cocreatively with us.
I believe in working to heal and support the interdependent web of existence of which we are a part.
I believe that humans can be part of the solution, not just part of the problem.
I believe there is more to all of us than what appears on the surface.
Consider sitting down and actually writing out your “I believe…” statements. These can be a potent tool to help you connect with the core reason you practice the religion or religions that you do.
Put that list somewhere you can see it. Consider reading it aloud sometimes.
One of the other beautiful aspects of Unitarian Universalism is that we are pluralist. This means that whether you realize it or not, you really do know a lot more than most people do about what different religious practices can include. You’ve been accidentally doing research the entire time you’ve been attending UU services. As you consider what you truly believe, think about what actually works for you, or what seems interesting, from the various traditions you’ve learned about.
Maybe it’s finding a place to connect with nature.
Maybe it’s using prayer beads as a way to center yourself, or to pray.
Maybe it’s lighting incense.
Maybe it’s reciting poetry, or singing a song that reminds you of your place in this beautiful world we all share.
Maybe it’s meditating on a piece of art that just feels right.
The Unitarian Universalist hymn book is called Singing the Living Tradition, and it’s a useful reminder that we are just that – a living tradition. We are free to explore, change, discover, and add to our spiritual practices. Like a morning glory vine, we can wrap around and climb over and blossom in unexpected places. Along with being something you learned from a sermon or class, your practice can be something you made up or stumbled into. We support the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. This means you really can change your practice to meet your needs, to create an individual practice that resonates with your deepest self and sense of connection.
So how do you escape a spiritual plateau? Remember why the container is shaped the way it is. Revisit the stories whose legacy is yours to carry. Connect to the ancestors of faith and all they worked to create in this world. Take actions at home to support this connection. Remind yourself of what you believe. Say those words aloud from time to time. Experiment. Try different practices, including ones you make up, until you find one that helps you remember who you are, what you’re connected to, and how to carry the light.
Refill the chalice as needed, and let its light carry you through this world. Even, and maybe especially, at the times when you are surrounded by jerks.
Sermon inspired and informed by conversations with Andrew Wendkith. This sermon was first offered to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Hagerstown on Sunday, July 6th, 2025.
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